Save Tonight
by DreamerInVain
Summary: "I just can't get rid of this bad feeling…"


Disclaimer: Not mine.

Spoilers: Requiem

Hope you'll enjoy it. Let me know what you think. :)) 

The night was silent, still, but her mind was restless, one thought after another flying through her mind. Endless pictures, scenes passing before her closed eyes. No, she wasn't dreaming. What occupied her thoughts was the frustration born out of desperate helplessness and sadness awoken by her remembrance of the all the things that happened to both herself and Mulder during their 7-year-long partnership, nearly as long friendship and their new born intimacy. The invasion of her mind was due especially to the events of the past few days and what transpired in the last few hours.

What triggered her memories was Mulder's impassionate plea for her to quit the FBI. He said the personal cost was too high and driven by his selfless devotion and unspoken love tried to make her see her life needn't necessarily begin and end with the X-files. _There so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this. _His words still rang in her head. She didn't respond to him that night. She just held his hand tighter, her silent tears wetting their joined hands and his mouth puffing warm air on her neck. She fell asleep that way, her mind still a bit restless but quieted by his comforting presence.

The next morning she found him gone but saw a tray with breakfast on one of the chairs in the motel room. She dialed his cell-phone and without even a _Good morning_ from his side or a word uttered on her side he just told her he didn't want to wake her since she felt sick last night, answering her unspoken question. Her first instinct was to feel indignant but she softened when she realized she would have done exactly the same thing if the roles were reversed. She only responded she would join him when she got ready.

When they came back from Oregon he left for the office and she told him she would meet him there a little later. Once she did, she regretted it instantly because she found him with one of the men she despised the most in her life- Krycek and Marita Covarrubias, Mulder's traitorous ex informant. Things just got worse and worse from there.

She felt all air drain out from the conference room once they began talking about abductees and their disappearances. The more they talked and pondered on how to approach the matter, the sicker she felt and when she couldn't take it anymore, she stormed out of the room.

Mulder followed her out stating that she would not be a part of the operation since she was an abductee. _I'm not gonna risk…losing you_ is what he told her, and because she loved him, she promised to stay behind, but refused to let him leave alone.

When the arrangements were made, she accompanied him to his apartment. Skinner and he were to leave in 3 hours. Since he always kept his overnight bag in the trunk of his car, the trip to the apartment was made so he could get some rest and reorganize his thoughts. She herself couldn't understand this overwhelming need to stay with him until the last minute, after all, he would be back in just a few days, wouldn't he? So why, why did she have this dreadful feeling that her world was about to fall apart in just a few days?

She remembers being so lost in her thoughts she didn't hear Mulder approach her from behind. She only reacted when she felt his hands on her shoulders. Relaxing instantly she let herself lean slightly into him.

"What's the matter? You seem to have wondered somewhere else…"

"I don't know. I have this feeling … like something will go terribly wrong. I know you and Skinner are going there just to investigate but I just can't shake it away…"

He turned her around, cupping her face in his hands and brushing her cheeks with his thumbs lightly back and forth. "Nothing will go wrong. We'll be back in a few days, and hopefully with some answers. You said it yourself- we're going there to investigate. What could possibly go wrong?"

"With you Mulder… I don't know… You have this uncanny ability to get yourself in trouble as often as going shopping for groceries."

Mulder chuckled. "So you mean to tell me I never get in trouble? Well, I'll make sure that Skinman doesn't let go of my hand the entire time."

"Go make yourself comfortable on the couch and I'll make us some tea". He left the kitchen and seconds later she heard the TV being turned on and channels being switched. She found him drowned between the couch cushions, his legs crossed on her coffee table. Putting the cups down, she sat next to him, her curled knees brushing his hip.

"The tea's still hot", she told him and fell silent. Too silent. "You are still upset, aren't you", he asked her, taking her hand in his and resting it on his thighs. "No… Yes… I'm sorry Mulder, I just can't get rid of this bad feeling…I can't identify it. Maybe I'm just too nervous and it's manifesting itself in a strange way… "

"I'm a little nervous myself… of what we'll find out…"

Letting air out in one big exhale, she told him: "Let's not think about that right now. We have two hours left before you leave which means two hours of deliberate distraction." When she saw his smile she knew she was in for it.

"Deliberate distraction, you say. There are a few things that pop out of my mind when you mention that. Like playing scrabble, watching a good football game, order a pizza and eat it, make use of your bed… for a nap, of course." Not letting go of his hand, she stood up and tugged at his hand saying: "Well, I must say that I find this idea of a… nap in my bed to be very attractive."

Sometime later she was awoken by a feel of lips kissing her eyelids and a soft whisper. It was Mulder and he was telling her it was time for him to leave. She made a move to get up but he wouldn't let her. "No, stay put. Skinner is downstairs waiting for me. He kissed her lips softly and straightened up. "See you in a few days" and winked. Before he was out of the door, she jumped from the bed putting hastily her bathrobe on and called for him: "Mulder!" He turned around and saw her unfastening her golden cross. "I want you to wear this until you get back. Please, just humor me. I'll feel much better if you wear it." He took it from her hands and after kissing the cross lightly, fastened it around his own neck. She caressed his cheek and found her hand to be trembling. "I'll see you soon" was what he said and he disappeared, closing the door of her apartment after himself.

And here she was, back in bed again, trying to fall asleep but failing. They've been through a lot together, trough near death experiences, psychotic killers, unexplained phenomena that still leave her puzzled, deaths of their loved ones, fights, cancer… And still, none of those occurrences, as horrible as some of them have been, didn't leave her with a feeling of utter hopelessness. What frustrated her the most was she couldn't figure out where these feelings came from and why.

_Just calm yourself down Dana.  
_

Giving up on sleep she decided to make herself some coffee and wait for a phone call from Mulder informing her of their arrival since that was what he promised. Picking up her watch from the nightstand, she saw it was only 2 am. Exhaling tiredly, she whispered "This is going to be a long night" and proceeded to the kitchen.


End file.
